Tuesday, September 30, 2008

truth


for you i will
die
for you i will awaken and
rise
for you i will protect
from the dangers of truth
but for you
never will i hide
what they don't reveal in your
youth
the fiction we are told
the lies we are sold
does not develop
into its prequel and sequel
that you now behold
in the cradle of your mind
rests unrest
for overwhelming revelation
fills your breast
and for you
i will reveal more
but not to lead to your demise
but to induce restor
ation
meditation
still
be it your will
what is mine
be it your will
what i have designed
for you i will
give you ease of mind
but to ease
means to release
one from captivity
and i tell you
the price for freedom
is not tranquility
but war
for you i will
help you to know
what you are fighting for
me
you are fighting
for
me
Goddess
I are you
relentless
in all i do
to marry you
with love
to unveil
what truly
you are made of
see
open unto
me
see
that you
are me
and for you
i will
stop at nothing
to give you
everything


Sunday, September 28, 2008

who cares about sports...this is about me...hehe


i, i mean WE won... now lets dance

DO YOUR BEST

Don't let the pressure of wanting to get an A, make you get an F. Just do your best.
-yaw


CHURCH WAS AWESOME TODAY...soo good


these r my notes:

The Measurement of a Queen/ King
How to Effect Your Generation

Acts 13:36
2nd Kings 24, 25: 27-30

You only have one life to live.
you're given a time, what will you do with it?

*side note: [Queendom= Queen's domain]
A queen has influence over her domain

Old testament is the New Testament concealed.
the New Testament is the Old testament Revealed

Life is not measured by duration , but by donation.

2nd Kings 24: 8 (Case study: Jehoiakim King of Judah)
Heaven's Measurement:
Measurement of duration includes:
  1. age at which you assumed your throne (18 yrs.)
  2. Stage of maintenance -how long you ruled (3 months)
Measurement of donation includes:
  1. Apprenticeship: who influenced you (His mother, Nehushta -A mother's influence is paramount)
  2. Leadership: who you influenced ("He did evil in the eyes of Lord..." scripture says he did evil in the eyes of the Lord, not in the eyes of the people...let it marinate)
King Jehoakim was not a good King, but he got all the things we ask for:
  • Got new clothes
  • Was close with King Merodach of Babylon
  • ate at the King's table
  • and had a set salary for all the days of his life
BUT
King Jehoakim, was a king of prisoners, captives, slaves.
He had limited Freedom:
  • A prisoner himself, but moved up to the highest ranks, being a king of the prisoners.
  • so he was able to rule the vicinity of the prison, but not anywhere beyond the prison gates.
  • Its like the Devil says you can go to church, but you can be a good liar -this is limited freedom, you are still captive to the Devil's rule
  • Another analogy for limited freedom: The chickens for christmas dinner get fed and fed before they are killed so they can be nice and fat for our tummies. But to that chicken, he is the King chicken getting breakfast in bed, not having to look for food but food is looking for him. To him, he's got it made...not knowing that the one who is feeding him, is the one who will kill him. Meanwhile the chicken who has to look for her own food, and is skinny is the one that is truly free.
The purpose of a queen is to protect her territory. The prison is not the territory of a queen.
  • The devil will feed you enough and clothe you enough to make you forget your destiny.
God said make me rich. (How can you make God rich?) Give unto me what is mine. What is the Lord's? Not the dollar bill, with the image of a dead prez, but Her children, with the image of God on us. We were made in His image, all children.

The greatest lie the devil told God's children, was that He would make us Kings and Queens of Prisoners.

*side not: [A friend loves you the way you are. A mentor loves you too much to leave you the way you are]

You Queendom is not church, it is anywhere you influence.
God will not measure a church by how many it is seating, but by how many it is reaching.

Help us not to be blinded by the comfort and convenience of the devil.

............thats all i had written...it was way more effective being in the church. but i still wanted to pass the message along. i was doing a lot of mmmhming today...it was just good.



how was ur evening?


oh boy
i just had a bad dream. God forbid it! but I woke up to a beautiful text. God bless it. mmhm what next? Praise the Lord

what was before... mhhmm i ate alone at the Bombay Indian Restaurant on campus. It was super fulfilling. I couldn't ask for more or less. As I was eating I was accompanied via a phone conversation until my phone lost juice and died, then I was accompanied by my thoughts, then a song along the walk home. then i resorted to my thoughts again, which turned into a gchat convo, which turned into me watching Martin on this here blog page. then sleep, dream, wake, text, blogging.

and thats how it went.

how was ur evening?

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

akua's study -quest of mind, heart, inquiry, soul, inspiration -works cited

http://www.sceneinteractive.com/podcast_ep.php?pid=v8&date=05%2F08%2F2007&desc=Luam
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qhu7CXdyuc (i really wish i could see the whole thing-this is one of my favorites)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7f5NTLgtEA (ol skool- interesting to assess)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLLsn1f7Tdc (man of repetition -spoke OWT...woooh....o boy)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fE0gn70tw50 (oooh liberation... cry for freedom)

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

welcome


u ever wanna sit back and watch life on tv
but the kinda life w/ no cameras
but ur watchin
maybe like God
but without the responsibility of God, like answering prayers, showing mercy, forgiveness, etc.
so neway u watch and u decide to jump in when ur ready
kinda like double dutch
when u feel like u've seen enuff
and u wanna play the game now
and u know exactly what role u wanna play too
u know where u wanna get in
u see where u fit in
and u play
at ur own risk tho....
but i wonder
if u knew what was to come
would u still wanna play
if u knew what life was all about
would u play
u saw all the successes
all the sufferings
all the goods
alll the evils
all the opportunities
all the limitations
would u play

i wonder what i was designed to do
to be
to know
to say
how to do what i am designed to do
i wish i could sit and watch
and jump in when i'm ready
but we're kinda thrown in
so u best be ready
whether
ur ready or not
here we come

we came
did we see
did we conquer?

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

me


the world's smilin
and i say i smile back at u
the sun's shinin
and i say
this black star's shinin too
and what bout u
in yo face if i smiled what would u do
if smilin back is what you choose
or having a str8t face to keep it cool
or givin me a smirk w/ one eyebrow raised playin it smoove
or payin me no neva mind tryna play me for a fool
or scolding me w/ a grim face thinking u ebenezer scrooge
no matta what you do
do you and do it to the full
est
ima do me and smile till i infect the rest
w/ bless
ings
infect the rest w/ love
letting the God inside shine
inside me
proudly
i walk w/ ma head high
cuz joy's inside me
seekin nuttin but positivity
but regardless of what i recieve
i encourage u to do u
cuz ima do me
:)

Monday, September 8, 2008

Heart needs a change of clothes


hey,
so....i be good sometimes. i mean i be good. u know feeling good. feeling like i have command over a situation. feel like i can keep it movin in a forward motion. feelin comfortable in ma skin. feelin good. u know. then somedays, i jus feel like the wind be blowing me every which-a-way and my command over the winds get blown away as well. jus uncertain, a bit lost, a bit scared. then i get these sober moments when i know the devil jus is on his A-game. i mean lying like he ain't neva lied b4 everytime. just a gunnin for me. and i realize that i need my God to be in command all the time, and i realize Her presence on the scene is dependent upon me. dependent upon ma faith and love and willingness to invite Him into my heart -my center that drives my feelings which i heavily act upon. and man, i just know that my heart needs a change of clothes, some new shoes, jus need to be made over.
take my heart and mold it to liken yours, Oh Lord

Friday, September 5, 2008

jangydangle to siryptinum (satire of man)


J: bla bla bla u know
feelings schmeelings u know
a+b=c
x+y=z
black+white=grey
'cept nuttin's grey
it jus
is
what
it
is
and then you move on

S: i know
i know...........

J: all dat
uncertainty
indecisive
dwelling in the past
psychobabble
thoretical
idealistic
ideology
is bull
and it ain't for winners
everybody else is doin it
so y the hell can't u
why the hell won't u
live

S: right??
i know
i know.....

J: the game ain't for
naive
inexperienced girls
wet behind they ears

S: i know
i know.....

J: so u betta grow
some balls and be a man
cuz this is their world
and if you wanna know
how to live in this world
u best watch them
be like them
know their
speech
know their
walk
know their song
get in their head

S: right?
i know
i know........

J: see,
they're focused
they know how to
attend to what they NEED
to attend to.
they know how to move the fuck on
they know how to compartmentalize
emotion and physical
they r logical
they do for self
they dominate the world
and u follow
no matter how twisted and unaccomodating a situation is
u accomodate
now who's fault is that?
its a dog-eat-dog world we live in
u sittin dere callin them a dog
but they got the cats in order
too bad for a sista like u
hopefully you'll wake up soon

S: i know
i know.........

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

as i eat a bagel w/ a cluttered mind


each time i express
each time i refrain
losing myself as i repress
i pray we all remain

all the me's that
from time to time get silenced
i sit, sitting, sat
slumped in my chair reminiscent

conversing, politicking now
about how to get better with God
with each word about
the ways to quicken my spirit, i give a head nod

prayer prayer,
fulfilling God's pleasure
needing to be reading scripture
the manual of Emmanuel

for He is with me
and i Know it
surrounding but I can't see
and sometimes my feelings don't show it

so day to day
i pray to remember to invite You into my heart
renew, new page
get a chance at a new start

and i'm thankful
always thankful
tho hopeless and feeling doubtful
at times
i pray to never forget You

for You and only You know what's best
so You and only You
I'll let near my breast
accurately beneath my chest
secure in my valentine vest

i digress

nmmhm
i feel better already
i'm either ready or deady
do or die they say
do then die he said
do it then make your bed
so no regret

forward
onward
torward
my destiny