knowing * FEELING

life may not be hard but it feels like it. the conflicting entities of flesh and spirit. the dichotomy of what you feel and what you know. why it is innate to want what can self destruct. why? i sit. i think, to try to not think - things to not think, and thus i think. i wish knowing better can be more powerful than feeling illogically. i try to convince myself that what i know will serve me well than the contradicting feelings of my flesh. some may say this criticizing-self approach is not the way but it is what i feel.