me

the world's smilin
and i say i smile back at u
the sun's shinin
and i say
this black star's shinin too
and what bout u
in yo face if i smiled what would u do
if smilin back is what you choose
or having a str8t face to keep it cool
or givin me a smirk w/ one eyebrow raised playin it smoove
or payin me no neva mind tryna play me for a fool
or scolding me w/ a grim face thinking u ebenezer scrooge
no matta what you do
do you and do it to the full
est
ima do me and smile till i infect the rest
w/ bless
ings
infect the rest w/ love
letting the God inside shine
inside me
proudly
i walk w/ ma head high
cuz joy's inside me
seekin nuttin but positivity
but regardless of what i recieve
i encourage u to do u
cuz ima do me
:)

Heart needs a change of clothes

hey,
so....i be good sometimes. i mean i be good. u know feeling good. feeling like i have command over a situation. feel like i can keep it movin in a forward motion. feelin comfortable in ma skin. feelin good. u know. then somedays, i jus feel like the wind be blowing me every which-a-way and my command over the winds get blown away as well. jus uncertain, a bit lost, a bit scared. then i get these sober moments when i know the devil jus is on his A-game. i mean lying like he ain't neva lied b4 everytime. just a gunnin for me. and i realize that i need my God to be in command all the time, and i realize Her presence on the scene is dependent upon me. dependent upon ma faith and love and willingness to invite Him into my heart -my center that drives my feelings which i heavily act upon. and man, i just know that my heart needs a change of clothes, some new shoes, jus need to be made over.
take my heart and mold it to liken yours, Oh Lord

jangydangle to siryptinum (satire of man)

J: bla bla bla u know
feelings schmeelings u know
a+b=c
x+y=z
black+white=grey
'cept nuttin's grey
it jus
is
what
it
is
and then you move on

S: i know
i know...........

J: all dat
uncertainty
indecisive
dwelling in the past
psychobabble
thoretical
idealistic
ideology
is bull
and it ain't for winners
everybody else is doin it
so y the hell can't u
why the hell won't u
live

S: right??
i know
i know.....

J: the game ain't for
naive
inexperienced girls
wet behind they ears

S: i know
i know.....

J: so u betta grow
some balls and be a man
cuz this is their world
and if you wanna know
how to live in this world
u best watch them
be like them
know their
speech
know their
walk
know their song
get in their head

S: right?
i know
i know........

J: see,
they're focused
they know how to
attend to what they NEED
to attend to.
they know how to move the fuck on
they know how to compartmentalize
emotion and physical
they r logical
they do for self
they dominate the world
and u follow
no matter how twisted and unaccomodating a situation is
u accomodate
now who's fault is that?
its a dog-eat-dog world we live in
u sittin dere callin them a dog
but they got the cats in order
too bad for a sista like u
hopefully you'll wake up soon

S: i know
i know.........

as i eat a bagel w/ a cluttered mind

each time i express
each time i refrain
losing myself as i repress
i pray we all remain

all the me's that
from time to time get silenced
i sit, sitting, sat
slumped in my chair reminiscent

conversing, politicking now
about how to get better with God
with each word about
the ways to quicken my spirit, i give a head nod

prayer prayer,
fulfilling God's pleasure
needing to be reading scripture
the manual of Emmanuel

for He is with me
and i Know it
surrounding but I can't see
and sometimes my feelings don't show it

so day to day
i pray to remember to invite You into my heart
renew, new page
get a chance at a new start

and i'm thankful
always thankful
tho hopeless and feeling doubtful
at times
i pray to never forget You

for You and only You know what's best
so You and only You
I'll let near my breast
accurately beneath my chest
secure in my valentine vest

i digress

nmmhm
i feel better already
i'm either ready or deady
do or die they say
do then die he said
do it then make your bed
so no regret

forward
onward
torward
my destiny

girl yo hair... yo hair looka like a da bomb...YESSSSS

you gotta get yo groove on

i'm happy i've found a quickfix get happy technique

so in about 15 hours I will officially be an RA. hah...love it!! don't u? wanna be ma resident........

lisa from save by the bell/ david allen grier/ billy dee williams

"what's missing from ch blank blank ch.....u r" love it!!

TV IS SOOO NOT REAL LIFE....oooh but if it were.......





"damn Michael you make me wanna go...can i go?" ha!!

it's cheaper to keep her/ cut the corna

oh Jesus. ah fo dis one...i just laffed to tears

my favorite -all time favorite show eva and remedy for life's ills :)

maaan yoo...and part 3 is off off off the chainS. i can't even laff when i watch this show...i just scream...ahhahh...good stuff





Oh Gina hooked this one up..standin O performance.... "u got somebody that got u"

knowing * FEELING

life may not be hard but it feels like it. the conflicting entities of flesh and spirit. the dichotomy of what you feel and what you know. why it is innate to want what can self destruct. why? i sit. i think, to try to not think - things to not think, and thus i think. i wish knowing better can be more powerful than feeling illogically. i try to convince myself that what i know will serve me well than the contradicting feelings of my flesh. some may say this criticizing-self approach is not the way but it is what i feel.

the TRUTH revealed

flavorful favorites fancy farting freely for fun
and boy oh boy am i havin' fun!

SHIVERS.....mmmhhmmm

can we dance like nobodees A watchin'
please............

preposition for the day: OVER

yea
its over
been over
i'm over it
tho i reminisce over and over
wondering what has come over me
i hit myself over the head
to WAKE UP
i'll have my eggs over easy

this pensive state is quite overdue
i must keep my head over water
and leap over the obstacles in ma way
led by God's light shining over me

i heard over conversation
and overheard
MOVE ON don't move over
you're no pushover
but with emotion my cup runneth over
now with logic shall i get over this
but sincere i'm over it
for now...............................................
moreover
for tomorrow

green eyed bag lady

libertad
hold yo glasses to the sky
clink clink
its a celebration
neva felt a feeling so sweet
i hum with delight
at the piercing sound of the knife
in
out
in
and
out
CRACK!
aaaaahhhhh
i scream
with relief

HEARTBREAK

baaabbbbbyyyy
do it again and again

deeper and deeper
are my wounds

sweeter and sweeter
is my tongue

i burst into tears

i smile with jubilee

they neva told me how sweet it would be

they neva told how physically real
heartbreak feels, how suitable the word
is to describe joyful pain

i carry my bags tripping over myself

i hold my head up high

now realizing who the second dress is for


the more the merrier tocelebrate
hands
filled with glasses
risen

HIGH HIGH HIGH
TO THE SKY

with bleeding hearts
i rejoice in pain

cuz its a motha motha mo tha............. celebration

and baby, yea baby, my lover, my one who holds a special place in my heart, my fiya starta, my one of the sun, my first......everything, everything, everything, everything

i thank you!